Do you ever get down in a rut and feel like everything around you is just harder than normal? That’s where I am right now. Everything just feels hard…marriage is hard; being a mom is hard; even my easy-going work place is suddenly just hard. It feels like nothing is going right, my schedule is all out of whack, and I can’t do anything right. For instance, the other day I got home, turned off the alarm (or so I thought), went to get my dog & the alarm sounded off. Rather LOUDLY, I might add! I got it turned off, but then had to call my husband to figure out how to clear it out so I could set it again and leave the house. Then, as I was told later, I forgot to actually lock the door when I left! Geez! Everything just feels hard, and nothing is going according to my normal schedule. And to top it off, I tried to fast last week and EPICALLY FAILED at that! I mean, I can’t even be a good Christian right now!!
EVERYTHING.
IS.
HARD.
BUT GOD.
GOD IS GOOD.
HE IS SO, SO GOOD!!!
In all the hard mess, I forgot the ONE THING, the EASIEST thing…give it to God (I believe I did say I was failing at being a good Christian.).
I went to my weekly bible study group this week…to my group of transparent Christian women who love me and accept me for who I am. When I needed a place to land and some new friends, they welcomed me with open arms. When I walked in this week, I was carrying the weight of feeling like a failure at all the things; feeling like as soon as I opened my mouth, I would be a puddle on the floor. But that feeling quickly faded as we took turns sharing about our week. When it was my turn to share, I told them how I’d been feeling and all the failure qualities going on in my life. They didn’t judge me or condemn me…they loved on me, they encouraged me, and they reminded me of God’s grace and mercy and unconditional love.
After sharing about our week, we took some time talking about different songs that have affected us in some way. Songs that helped us through hard times, through tough situations, or that just brought back good memories. I’ve been soaking in some good worship music since we met, and I wanted to share some excerpts from the different songs shared in the group.
For Kristina (Oceans, by Hillsong UNITED)
Spirit lead me where my trust is without borders
Let me walk upon the waters
Wherever You would call me
Take me deeper than my feet could ever wander
And my faith will be made stronger
In the presence of my Savior
For Jennifer (Praise You in This Storm, by Casting Crowns)
And I’ll praise You in this storm
And I will lift my hands
For You are who You are
No matter where I am
And every tear I’ve cried
You hold in Your hand
You never left my side
And though my heart is torn
I will praise You in this storm
For Mary Ann (Lord, I Need You, by Matt Maher)
Lord, I need You, oh, I need You
Every hour, I need You
My one defense, my righteousness
Oh God, how I need You
For Maddie (Same God, by Elevation Worship)
O God, my God, I need you
O God, my God, I need You now
How I need You now
O Rock, O Rock of ages
I’m standing on Your faithfulness
On Your faithfulness
For Kristel (How Great Thou Art, version by Carrie Underwood)
Oh Lord, my God
When I, in awesome wonder
Consider all the worlds Thy hands have made
I see the stars, I hear the rolling thunder
Thy power throughout the universe displayed
Then sings my soul, my Savior God to Thee
How great Thou art, how great Thou art
Then sings my soul, my Savior God to Thee
How great Thou art, how great Thou art
For Stacia (In Jesus Name, by Katy Nichole)
I speak the name of Jesus over you
In your hurting, in your sorrow
I will ask my God to move
I speak the name ‘cause it’s all that I can do
In desperation, I’ll seek Heaven
And pray this for you
I pray for your healing
That circumstances would change
I pray that the fear inside would flee in Jesus name
I pray that a breakthrough would happen today
I pray miracles over your life in Jesus name, in Jesus name
For Shana (Great Are You Lord, by Casting Crowns)
You give life, You are love
You bring light to the darkness
You give hope, You restore
Every heart that is broken
Great are You, Lord
It’s Your breath in our lungs
So we pour out our praise
We pour out our praise
It’s Your breath in our lungs
So we pour our praise to You only
For Natali (Show Me Your Glory, by Third Day)
Show me Your Glory
Send down Your presence
I want to see Your face
Show me Your Glory
Majesty shines about You
I can’t go on without You, Lord
For Lacy (The Gift, by Garth Brooks)
Then a voice spoke to her through the darkness
Maria, what brings you to me
If the bird in the cage is your offering
Open the door, let me see
Though she trembled, she did as he asked her
And out of the cage the bird flew
Soaring into the rafters
On a wing that had healed good as new
Just then the midnight bells rang out
And the little bird started to sing
A song that no words could recapture
Whose beauty was fit for a king
Now Maria felt blessed just to listen
To that cascade of notes sweet and long
As her offering was lifted to heaven
By the very first nightingale’s song
And Me (Trust in You, by Lauren Daigle)
Letting go of every single dream
I lay each one at Your feet
Every moment of my wandering
Never changes what You see
I’ve tried to win this war, I confess
My hands are weary, I need Your rest
Mighty warrior, King of the fight
No matter what I face, You’re by my side
When You don’t move the mountains
I’m needing You to move
When You don’t part the waters
I wish I could walk through
When You don’t give the answers
As I cry out to You
I will trust, I will trust, I will trust in You
And for anyone still reading this blog, I hope you heard the music as you read each song snippet and God spoke to you through the words. Sometimes just a small touch of God is all we need to get over the hump, to get through a rough patch, or to bring some joy into our day. Is there a song that you’ve clung to through a hard season or difficult time in your life? I’d love for you to share it with me.
Before I go, I want to leave you with one last song, the Goodness of God, by Elevation Worship. The day after my bible study, I listed to this on repeat and asked God to rain His goodness, His peace, His mercy and His grace over me. It’s already getting better. =)
I love you, Lord
For Your mercy never fails me
All my days, I’ve been held in Your hands
From the moment that I wake up
Until I lay my head
Oh, I will sing of the goodness of God
All my life You have been faithful
All my life You have been so, so good
With every breath that I am able
Oh, I will sing of the goodness of God
I love Your voice
You have led me through the fire
In the darkest night
You are close like no other
I’ve known You as a Father
I’ve known You as a Friend
And I have lived in the goodness of God
All my life You have been faithful
All my life You have been so, so good
With every breath that I am able
Oh, I will sing of the goodness of God
living by faith 
WOW! That was a good one. 🙂 So much truth and so many uplifting thoughts. I know every one of those songs, and each has sustained me at some point in the past several years. Unfortunately, they tend to come on the radio just before I get to work, so I have to sit in the parking lot and regain my composure before I go inside the building. 😉 I love the song Hymn of Heaven by Phil Wickham. I was singing along and crying from the first time I heard it. I had them use it at mom’s funeral this past January, and it really got me through the entire day. And on a personal note, you’re not failing as a Christian if your first action is to turn to God when things get hard. Just sayin’.
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