Has God ever spoken to you through daily activities or using practical experiences? Every now and then, God will speak to me through my daily activities or interactions with my son. I do my best to write them down so that I can remember them and share them. One of the three I’m going to share with you came to me a few years ago; the other two came just recently.
Windshields
As I was driving to work one morning and the sun hit my windshield, I noticed how dirty my windshield looked. However, when the sun wasn’t shining directly on it, the windshield looked clean and normal. And then I realized, it’s the same with God. In the darkness, all our dirty spots are covered up and seem normal to us. But when the Light hits, all the dirty spots are exposed, showing us exactly what needs to be cleansed and purified by God.
John 12:46, NLT says, “I have come as a light to shine in this dark world, so that all who put their trust in Me will no longer remain in the dark.”
Shopping Carts
My son has reached the age where now instead of being a passive participant and riding in the shopping cart, he wants to be an active participant and push the cart. Plus, he doesn’t want my help. As he says, “I do it Mama. Don’t help!” And I politely tell him, as I’m still holding on to the cart, that I do need to help him. I remind him that he isn’t tall enough yet to see over the handles, so I need to help guide him, because I can see what he can’t see.
And it reminded me that we are the same way with God. We think we have it all figured out; that we know where to go and what’s in front of us. But God reminds us, sometimes gently, sometimes not (for those extra stubborn ones), that HE CAN see what’s ahead of us. We only think we have it all figured out when we really don’t. If we don’t tender our heart to His guidance, we’re going to crash straight into everything He’s trying to help us avoid!
Proverbs 29:18, NLT says, “When people do not accept divine guidance, they run wild. But whoever obeys the law is joyful.”
“But true wisdom and power are found in God; counsel and understanding are his.” (Job 12:13, NLT)
Don’t be the strong-willed child, thinking you can do it all on your own. Listen for God’s voice and guidance so you’ll avoid crashing into the things you never saw coming.
Convenience Stores
I was driving past a convenience store and noticed they are changing the exterior of the building. I have no idea what they’re actually doing or how they’re changing it. But I had the thought, “Unless they change the inside, it won’t matter what the outside looks like. It’ll still be old and dirty inside.”
And then I realized, it’s the same thing with us (people). You can change your outward appearance as much as you want…your hair color, your hair length, your nails, workout, eat better…whatever it is you’re trying to change. But if you don’t work on changing the inside, your heart, none of it matters. All the ugliness will still be inside.
Luke 6:45, NLT says, “A good person produces good things from the treasury of a good heart, and an evil person produces evil things from the treasury of an evil heart. What you say flows from what is in your heart.”
Proverbs 26:23, NLT says, “Smooth words may hide a wicked heart, just as a pretty glaze covers a clay pot.”
And Proverbs 27:19, NLT says, “As a face is reflected in water, so the heart reflects the real person.”
Start the work on your inside, your heart, and the rest will fall into place.
“Create in me a clean heart, O God. Renew a loyal spirit within me.” (Psalm 51:10, NLT)
“And I will give you a new heart, and I will put a new spirit in you. I will take out your stony, stubborn heart and give you a tender, responsive heart.” (Ezekiel 36:26, NLT)
God is always speaking to us no matter what we’re doing; it’s us that need to be listening for His gentle, guiding voice. I hope these help you to see God and His lessons in the things you do every day.
Do you ever get down in a rut and feel like everything around you is just harder than normal? That’s where I am right now. Everything just feels hard…marriage is hard; being a mom is hard; even my easy-going work place is suddenly just hard. It feels like nothing is going right, my schedule is all out of whack, and I can’t do anything right. For instance, the other day I got home, turned off the alarm (or so I thought), went to get my dog & the alarm sounded off. Rather LOUDLY, I might add! I got it turned off, but then had to call my husband to figure out how to clear it out so I could set it again and leave the house. Then, as I was told later, I forgot to actually lock the door when I left! Geez! Everything just feels hard, and nothing is going according to my normal schedule. And to top it off, I tried to fast last week and EPICALLY FAILED at that! I mean, I can’t even be a good Christian right now!!
EVERYTHING.
IS.
HARD.
BUT GOD.
GOD IS GOOD.
HE IS SO, SO GOOD!!!
In all the hard mess, I forgot the ONE THING, the EASIEST thing…give it to God (I believe I did say I was failing at being a good Christian.).
I went to my weekly bible study group this week…to my group of transparent Christian women who love me and accept me for who I am. When I needed a place to land and some new friends, they welcomed me with open arms. When I walked in this week, I was carrying the weight of feeling like a failure at all the things; feeling like as soon as I opened my mouth, I would be a puddle on the floor. But that feeling quickly faded as we took turns sharing about our week. When it was my turn to share, I told them how I’d been feeling and all the failure qualities going on in my life. They didn’t judge me or condemn me…they loved on me, they encouraged me, and they reminded me of God’s grace and mercy and unconditional love.
After sharing about our week, we took some time talking about different songs that have affected us in some way. Songs that helped us through hard times, through tough situations, or that just brought back good memories. I’ve been soaking in some good worship music since we met, and I wanted to share some excerpts from the different songs shared in the group.
For Kristina(Oceans, by Hillsong UNITED)
Spirit lead me where my trust is without borders
Let me walk upon the waters
Wherever You would call me
Take me deeper than my feet could ever wander
And my faith will be made stronger
In the presence of my Savior
For Jennifer(Praise You in This Storm, by Casting Crowns)
And I’ll praise You in this storm
And I will lift my hands
For You are who You are
No matter where I am
And every tear I’ve cried
You hold in Your hand
You never left my side
And though my heart is torn
I will praise You in this storm
For Mary Ann(Lord, I Need You, by Matt Maher)
Lord, I need You, oh, I need You
Every hour, I need You
My one defense, my righteousness
Oh God, how I need You
For Maddie (Same God, by Elevation Worship)
O God, my God, I need you
O God, my God, I need You now
How I need You now
O Rock, O Rock of ages
I’m standing on Your faithfulness
On Your faithfulness
For Kristel (How Great Thou Art, version by Carrie Underwood)
Oh Lord, my God
When I, in awesome wonder
Consider all the worlds Thy hands have made
I see the stars, I hear the rolling thunder
Thy power throughout the universe displayed
Then sings my soul, my Savior God to Thee
How great Thou art, how great Thou art
Then sings my soul, my Savior God to Thee
How great Thou art, how great Thou art
For Stacia (In Jesus Name, by Katy Nichole)
I speak the name of Jesus over you
In your hurting, in your sorrow
I will ask my God to move
I speak the name ‘cause it’s all that I can do
In desperation, I’ll seek Heaven
And pray this for you
I pray for your healing
That circumstances would change
I pray that the fear inside would flee in Jesus name
I pray that a breakthrough would happen today
I pray miracles over your life in Jesus name, in Jesus name
For Shana (Great Are You Lord, by Casting Crowns)
You give life, You are love
You bring light to the darkness
You give hope, You restore
Every heart that is broken
Great are You, Lord
It’s Your breath in our lungs
So we pour out our praise
We pour out our praise
It’s Your breath in our lungs
So we pour our praise to You only
For Natali (Show Me Your Glory, by Third Day)
Show me Your Glory
Send down Your presence
I want to see Your face
Show me Your Glory
Majesty shines about You
I can’t go on without You, Lord
For Lacy (The Gift, by Garth Brooks)
Then a voice spoke to her through the darkness
Maria, what brings you to me
If the bird in the cage is your offering
Open the door, let me see
Though she trembled, she did as he asked her
And out of the cage the bird flew
Soaring into the rafters
On a wing that had healed good as new
Just then the midnight bells rang out
And the little bird started to sing
A song that no words could recapture
Whose beauty was fit for a king
Now Maria felt blessed just to listen
To that cascade of notes sweet and long
As her offering was lifted to heaven
By the very first nightingale’s song
And Me (Trust in You, by Lauren Daigle)
Letting go of every single dream
I lay each one at Your feet
Every moment of my wandering
Never changes what You see
I’ve tried to win this war, I confess
My hands are weary, I need Your rest
Mighty warrior, King of the fight
No matter what I face, You’re by my side
When You don’t move the mountains
I’m needing You to move
When You don’t part the waters
I wish I could walk through
When You don’t give the answers
As I cry out to You
I will trust, I will trust, I will trust in You
And for anyone still reading this blog, I hope you heard the music as you read each song snippet and God spoke to you through the words. Sometimes just a small touch of God is all we need to get over the hump, to get through a rough patch, or to bring some joy into our day. Is there a song that you’ve clung to through a hard season or difficult time in your life? I’d love for you to share it with me.
Before I go, I want to leave you with one last song, the Goodness of God, by Elevation Worship. The day after my bible study, I listed to this on repeat and asked God to rain His goodness, His peace, His mercy and His grace over me. It’s already getting better. =)
One of my favorite stories in the Old Testament is the story of the journey of the Israelites through the wilderness. There’s so much of the story to tell of their 40-year journey that it stretches through FIVE books of the Bible (Exodus, Leviticus, Numbers, Deuteronomy & Joshua).
I am always amazed every time I read through their story. Amazed at all the miracles God did for them and also amazed at how rebellious they were despite all the great things God was doing for them their entire journey! I mean, Moses raised his staff to a sea of water and it not only parted, but it allowed two million…T-W-O M-I-L-L-I-O-N people to walk across the sea, on dry ground to get to the other side! How on earth does someone forget such an amazing miracle like that!?! (Exodus 14)
And yet, we do the same thing. We pray to God for something to happen in our lives—a new job, a husband, children, a cure, financial blessing—whatever it is that we desperately want to see changed in our lives. We pray to God, we seek His face, we read our Bible, and we pray some more. And because of the “always-in-a-hurry-fast-paced” society we live in, we expect God to move at that pace, too. And when His timing isn’t the same as ours, we complain that He doesn’t hear us, He doesn’t see us, or He doesn’t love us anymore!
Who do we sound like now? The Israelites.
I’ve always heard pastors tell the story of the Israelites or speakers share about it at women’s conferences. They always say how we’re not any different than the Israelites. We complain to God just like they did, when things don’t go our way or when God is taking longer to fulfill promises than we would like. And I’ve always sat and listened to those messages and thought to myself, “I’m not like the Israelites! Those people were so selfish! They started complaining the moment they left Egypt:
‘Our journey is too long. We’re hungry!‘
‘We’ve been walking in this desert for three days and we’re thirsty!‘
‘Why did you take us out of Egypt? We were slaves, but at least we had food and water!‘
‘Why did you bring us to the desert to die?’
I mean, seriously?!? Talk about the most ungrateful group of people!” (Exodus 15, 16, 17)
Then last week, I was at bible study giving a friend an encouraging word about a job. She shared with us how she needed to find a job and had some great interviews, but no one offered up the job to her afterward. So, I shared with her one of my job experiences. At the time, I was bored with the job I had, so I applied for a new job. It ended up being about a six-month process between resume submission, phone interviews, different tests I had to take and then the final interview. After the final interview, I received word that the employer had chosen to take a different path and that was that. I eventually moved on to a new job. Almost two years later, I was very unhappy in that job and was praying for God to move in my situation. He did. I got a call from the job I had previously interviewed with that had told me they “had chosen to take a different path.” They had an opening and needed to fill the spot quickly. They remembered me from when I was interviewed before and asked if I was still interested in the job. Needless to say, two weeks later I started my new job with them and I’m still there today. The point I was making to my bible study friend was that just because they’re not calling you now, doesn’t mean they won’t call you in the future. Hopefully for her sake, it doesn’t take two years, but an encouraging story nonetheless. So, after bible study I was driving home and thinking about that job story again. And I began to think through all the blessings God had given; the places where He met me in my weak moments, in my desperate moments, and in my tearful, heart-wrenching moments; God was there with me for every single one. And in every single one of those moments, I realized I had complained to God for not answering those prayers in MY TIME. I had received a blessing from Him, moved about my life, until the next time I began praying for something I wanted or a direction I wanted to take and when He didn’t answer me, I complained. I forgot all about the previous blessing and the miraculous power He used to make that “thing” I wanted a possibility.
And then it hit me…I AM AN ISRAELITE! I am just like them! Moaning and complaining when something isn’t going my way or I’m not getting what I want, when I want it and forgetting all about the things God has already done and given me in my life. Dang it! I am just like them!
God has blessed me over and over during different situations and hard seasons. How is it that I forget the amazing things He has done for me and my family? How do I let my faith sway and think He won’t bless me this time? God shows up each and every time I need Him or have something I want or need. He doesn’t fail me. He doesn’t forsake me. He doesn’t say, “Well, Kara, I gave you something last time you asked, you need to be satisfied with that and not ask for anything else. I need to bless other people also.” He doesn’t say that! Ever! There may be some spaces in time between His blessings, but it doesn’t mean He won’t bless me again! He is always faithful.
God is the immovable, unshakable, everlasting, promise-keeping, uncompromising, miracle-working God.
His promises never return void.
His love never ends.
His blessings never cease.
He is our Rock, our Fortress, our Deliverer, and our Strength.
Our trustworthy companion.
Our Comfort and our Peace.
God gives healing, freedom, victory, forgiveness, and eternal life.
I am an Israelite and so are you! May we soak in that truth, but also remember that God is always moving in the background and is “able to do exceedingly, abundantly above all we ask or think.” (Ephesians 3:20, NKJV)
Back in early October, the women’s ministry at my church hosted their annual Cherished Conference in Ruidoso, New Mexico. On Friday morning each year, different women are asked to teach breakout sessions about various topics. This year I was asked to teach one of the breakout sessions and the topic I was given was about God’s promises. This is a topic I’m very familiar with as it is something that I walked through for many years while I waited on God’s promise to me to be fulfilled.
I’d like to share my breakout session with you as a two-part blog. A few weeks ago I shared my personal testimony in Part 1. Today, I am sharing Part 2 of the session, which is offering encouragement and how to keep your faith strong during the waiting process.
Here is “Waiting on the Promise” Part 2…
God’s promises to us are different in so many ways yet are the same. There’s not a set time frame for one promise over another. The fulfilment of my promise took 17 years. Maybe yours take more; maybe it takes less. But when God gives you a promise, He will deliver it when He says it’s time.
Which brings me to the second part of the message: how to get through the waiting process. It’s not easy being patient and waiting on God to move. On our terms, He moves slower than a turtle stuck in molasses! But in God’s eyes, He’s not deliberately being slow because He sees everything! He sees the things that we cannot see. He could be saving us from greater heartache by delaying the promise until the timing is just perfect. We see the time as delayed, but He sees it as working all things together for our good. Our. Good.
I want to share with you some different ways to keep your faith strong during the waiting process.
There is no time limit or expiration date on the promise God has given you. If He says He’ll do something or give something to you, He will.
Hebrews 11:11 (NLT), “It was by faith that even Sarah was able to have a child, though she was barren and was too old. She believed that God would keep his promise.” And He did.
I don’t know if you kept up with the math during my testimony, but I was 46 years old when I had my son back in November. That’s quite a bit past normal child-bearing years these days. But just like God kept His promise to Sarah, He kept his promise to me! And whatever promise you wrote in the blank on the piece of paper I mentioned last week, know that He will deliver that promise to you, too! He knows the desires of your heart and will give them to you! (Psalms 20:4 & 37:4)
2. Find an outlet (something to do or something else to think about) when you feel your faith is being tested beyond what you think you can handle.
James 1:3 (NLT), “For you know that when your faith is tested, your endurance has a chance to grow.”
For me, my outlet was writing. That’s the main reason I have this blog; so I can use it to write about my circumstances, feelings at certain times and general thoughts on the waiting process. For my husband, he found that serving God was a good outlet for him when times were difficult. Your outlet can be anything! Maybe you like to craft or exercise; maybe you like to cook or garden…maybe you just want to sit in God’s presence and listen to worship music. Sometimes it’s nice to just sit quietly in His presence.
Just remember that whatever you do to help pass your time, make sure it’s encouraging and positive!
3. Watch your words.
Proverbs 18:21 (MSG), “Words kill, words give life; they’re either poison or fruit—you choose.”
Romans 4:17-18 (TPT), “That’s what the Scripture means when it says: ‘I have made you the father of many nations.’ He (Abraham) is our example and father, for in God’s presence he believed that God can raise the dead and call into being things that don’t even exist yet. Against all odds, when it looked hopeless, Abraham believed the promise and expected God to fulfill it…”
Speak only life to your dreams or what you’re waiting for. Don’t give in to negative speak or thoughts. I told you in my testimony when I didn’t do this very well. I let the negative thoughts take hold of me and they held me captive for quite a while. It’s okay to get angry and frustrated; we’re human and it’s going to happen. Just don’t live there! Be angry…for a time and then let it go! Find a friend that you trust to let you vent when you need to, but someone that can also encourage you and lift you up when you need it.
There was a time several years ago when I was very unhappy in my job. I worked for two men, one a VP and the other a COO. My VP boss was absolutely horrible! He would say the most hateful things to me and when he walked out, I would just cry at my desk. I couldn’t understand why God had me in such an awful place! I wanted to quit so bad! But I couldn’t because my husband had just lost his job, and this was our only source of income.
I was sharing my frustration with a friend, and she encouraged me to speak life into my job; to thank God for my job and to also thank Him for my next job. She even told me to speak that God would either move one or both of them or, move me. I have to say I didn’t truly believe that at first when I spoke it, but shortly after, the COO left the company! I couldn’t believe it! So, I really started speaking to it with purpose. Within the next six months, I had a call from a previous place I had interviewed with prior to taking the current job. It had been TWO YEARS since I interviewed with them, and they had an opening that needed to be filled quickly and they were curious if I was still interested. Y-E-S! Yes, I absolutely was still interested. I went in for another interview the next week, and two days after I was turning in my two-week resignation and started the new job. I just celebrated 10 years back in June.
Speak to your promise…God does hear you! And He does move!
4. Be content in your current circumstances.
Hebrews 10:35-36, “So do not throw away this confident trust in the Lord. Remember the great rewards it brings you! Patient endurance is what you need now, so that you will continue to do God’s will. Then you will receive all that he has promised.”
It’s hard to be content in your circumstances when you desperately want them to change, when you want to start experiencing the next season of life. But when you embrace your current season, you give God room to move.
I had to embrace my pre-baby season and one of the ways was to host baby showers for friends. At times, it was nearly impossible to put on my happy face for my friends…they were living the life I desperately wanted. But even in those hard times, God was there with me.
And the last way to keep your faith strong during the waiting process,
5. Pray.
Prayer is a very powerful tool and it’s always with you. You can pray anytime and anywhere! It’s always good to pray freely, but sometimes it’s easier to write out specific prayers, too.
I’ve used several different ways to write out prayers using scripture.
A. One way is to search the Bible for specific prayers that speak to you and/or your situation. I have a few scriptures that I love and would always pray during my waiting period:
Ephesians 3:20-21 NKJV, “Now to Him who is able to do exceedinglyabundantly above all that we ask or think, according to the power that works in us, to Him be glory in the church by Christ Jesus to all generations, forever and ever. Amen.”
Same scripture in the Passion Translation: Ephesians 3:20-21 (TPT), “Never doubt God’s mighty power to work in you and accomplish all this. He will achieve infinitely more than your greatest request, your most unbelievable dream, and exceed your wildest imagination! He will outdo them all, for his miraculous power constantly energizes you. Now we offer up to God all the glorious praise that rises from every church in every generation through Jesus Christ—and all that will yet be manifest through time and eternity. Amen!”
Another favorite of mine is Isaiah 40:31 (NLT), “But those who trust in the Lord will find new strength. They will soar high on wings like eagles. They will run and not grow weary. They will walk and not faint.”
And the last one I’ll write out: Hebrews 11:1-3, 6 (TPT), “Now faith brings our hopes into reality and becomes the foundation needed to acquire the things we long for. It is all the evidence required to prove what is still unseen. This testimony of faith is what previous generationswere commended for. Faith empowers us to see that the universe was created and beautifully coordinated by the power of God’s words! He spoke and the invisible realm gave birth to all that is seen.
(v6) And without faith living within us it would be impossible to please God. For we come to God in faith knowing that he is real and that he rewards the faith of those who passionately seek him.”
B. Matthew 5 contains The Beatitudes and they make a great & easy way to start praying scripture.
Matthew 5:3-12 (NLT), “God blesses those who are poor and realize their need for him, for the Kingdom of Heaven is theirs. God blesses those who mourn, for they will be comforted. God blesses those who are humble, for they will inherit the whole earth. God blesses those who hunger and thirst for justice, for they will be satisfied. God blesses those who are merciful, for they will be shown mercy. God blesses those whose hearts are pure, for they will see God. God blesses those who work for peace, for they will be called the children of God. God blesses those who are persecuted for doing right, for the Kingdom of Heaven is theirs. God blesses you when people mock you and persecute you and lie about you and say all sorts of evil things against you because you are my followers. Be happy about it! Be very glad! For a great reward awaits you in heaven. And remember, the ancient prophets were persecuted in the same way.”
C. The book, Fervent, by Priscilla Shirer is a great option for specific prayer.
The subtext on the book cover even says, “A woman’s battle plan for serious, specific and strategic prayer.” Each chapter in the book talks about different areas and how to write out scripture prayers to pray for different things.
D. Friends.
I have a friend that is very good at writing scripture prayer. I had visited with her in late 2015 (after the dark period) and updated her on all that we had gone through and our current circumstances. She wrote out a prayer for me to pray for my babies. The prayer was loaded with scripture and self-declarations. And I remember I would stand in my living room and boldly recite that prayer almost every day! And then I took her prayer for me and I wrote a shorter, more specific pray to my unborn baby.
It doesn’t matter what your Promise is…God is always going to come through for you!!
As the song goes, God is the Waymaker. He is the Miracle Worker. He is the Promise Keeper. And He is the Light in the darkness.
There are days I feel every bit of 47! And as my husband noted about a month after our son was born, raising a baby is nothing like taking care of a dog!! Lol! (joke from Part 1)
It was never my plan to have a child this late in life, but it was my dream to have one. God chose the time.
He determined that my story would include a miracle baby at age 46.
He determined that my son would be born at this exact moment in time.
God plans everything to the finest detail. He is not wrong. He is not late.
Luke 1:37 says, “For the word of God will never fail.”
If He tells you He’ll do something, He will.
His timing is perfect. His plans are perfect. Your promise will be fulfilled at the exact time God has designed it to happen.
The fulfillment of your promise will be exceedingly abundantly BEYOND ALL you can ask or think because God will do exactly what He says he’ll do.
It will not return void and it will not expire.
Keep praying, speaking, and believing for the fulfillment of God’s promise to you.
Thank you for letting me share my breakout session with you about my personal journey of waiting on God’s promise to be fulfilled. I pray God spoke to you as you read Part 1 and Part 2. And I pray that if you are still waiting on the fulfilment of God’s promise to you, these words brought you hope and encouragement for your journey. If you would like a copy of the prayer my friend wrote for me, please message me or comment your email and I will gladly send it to you. If I can pray for you in any way, please let me know.
Back in early October, the women’s ministry at my church hosted their annual Cherished Conference in Ruidoso, New Mexico. On Friday morning each year, different women are asked to teach breakout sessions about various topics. This year I was asked to teach one of the breakout sessions and the topic I was given was about God’s promises. This is a topic I’m very familiar with as it is something that I walked through for many years while I waited on God’s promise to me to be fulfilled.
I’d like to share my breakout session with you as a two-part blog. Part 1 will be my personal journey and testimony of waiting on the fulfillment of God’s promise to me. And Part 2 will be some encouragement for those that are still waiting on your promise from God to be fulfilled.
Here is “Waiting on the Promise” Part 1…
God’s promises to us are different in so many ways yet are the same. There’s not a set time frame for one promise over another. Maybe you’re single and you’re waiting on God to bring you a husband; maybe you’re married and you’re waiting on God to bring you a baby. Maybe you’ve been saving awhile for God to bring you a new car or a new home. Maybe you’ve been working for a horrible boss or with co-workers you don’t like and you’re waiting on God to bring you a new job. Maybe you’re waiting on your treatment to finish for the “all clear” or waiting on a cure for something. Or maybe, you prayed Proverbs 22:6 over your children as they were growing up and now, you’re waiting for the promise of the prodigal child to turn to God and return home.
Whatever your promise is, God knows it. He hears you. He sees you. And as Romans 8:28 says it, “He’s working all things together for your good.”
I’d like you to find a piece of paper and at the top write this statement:
I am waiting on God’s promise of _____________to be fulfilled.
Fill in the blank with the promise that you’re waiting on God to fulfill for you. As you read through my testimony and hopefully Part 2 of the blog, I hope you allow God to speak to you through this message and find comfort in knowing God has not forgotten about you or the promise you’re waiting on.
I want to start out by telling you a little bit about me and my story. This is something that I have walked through and have seen the fulfilment of God’s promise to me.
My promise was about having a baby and being a Mom.
Like many women, there’s always been a dream of growing up, getting married & having kids. My plan was to get married & have all my kids (3) by the time I turned 30. That way, I could live the rest of my days raising kids with my husband…the American Dream, right!?!
Well, as I’ve learned and I’m sure you have learned too, our plans are not always God’s plans. Those plans, or parts of them, may turn in to reality at some point, but not always the way we think or dream it to be.
My husband and I were in our late 20’s when we got married in 2003. We had dated for quite a while, so I was more than ready to get going on the family part. But my husband said we should own a dog for at least a year before having kids so we could learn to be responsible for something other than ourselves. So, in December 2004, we got Daisy.
Well, the year of owning a dog first came and went, as did life and everything else. So let’s fast forward to 2013.
We had finally decided to start trying to make a baby. I bought an ovulation kit to help make things easier and after only one month, we were pregnant! We were so excited!! It’d been almost 10 years since we got married and it was time to move forward.
I did a couple of home pregnancy tests and then went to the doctor for the actual confirmation. They said I was about 5 weeks, so they set an appointment for me to go back in a few weeks to hear the heartbeat. We called our families and told our friends. Everyone was so excited for us!
We went in at week 7 for the first ultrasound to see the baby and hear the heartbeat. We were disappointed that we didn’t hear the heartbeat. But friends told us not to worry as most people don’t hear the heartbeat until weeks 8-10. The doctor wanted us to come back the following week and try again so we did and had the same results. The doctor seemed more concerned this time and sent me to have some blood work done to check my HCG level. In her opinion, the pregnancy was likely a miscarriage because the baby hadn’t grown any since the previous week, but the blood test would tell us for sure.
The gravity of the whole experience hit us like a ton of bricks. To go from ecstatic to devastated in a matter of weeks was something we hadn’t experienced before.
The pregnancy ultimately ended in a miscarriage as the baby never grew past 7 weeks and 1 day. To say miscarriage is a hard thing to walk through would be putting it mildly. You can work through your pain and move forward, but it’s something that stays with you. I could be walking in a store and all of a sudden break down in tears. I would get embarrassed because I would just randomly start crying. But a dear friend told me that when I needed to cry, just cry.
About a month later, once everything was finished, I went back in for a checkup. My doctor wanted to send me to a fertility doctor, but we weren’t interested. According to my husband, we were still young enough to try again and didn’t need the expensive measures. We just needed time to grieve.
But by the end of 2013, we still weren’t pregnant again, so I decided to check with a fertility doctor. Although we had been praying and fasting for me to get pregnant again, I just wanted to make sure that everything was okay with me, and nothing was preventing the process. I went through a series of tests and appointments and then decided to have a procedure done just to make sure all was well. A few days before I was to have the procedure, I developed a blood clot in my right leg, which turned out to be a side effect of some of the medicine my doctor had prescribed. I was in the hospital for a few days to clear the blood clot. While I was there, my fertility doctor visited with me and told me we now had to refrain from trying to get pregnant for 6 months! I was really disappointed. It had already been more than a year since we had the miscarriage, and I still wasn’t pregnant. And now we would have to wait for SIX MONTHS before we could try again!?!
Well, that brings us to 2015. I was so excited and ready to go back to see the fertility doctor so we could start everything again. But, by the next appointment everything had changed. I was told I only had a 1% chance of conceiving a child naturally. What!?! The news completely devastated me! The one dream I had always wanted and pursued for so long was now shattered into a million pieces!
I’m not going to lie to you…this news was hard to hear and come to grips with. On top of all of that, our dog Daisy passed away. So now within a two-year time frame, we’d miscarried a baby, had a blood clot, lost our beloved dog, and told our chances of conceiving a baby were slim to none. This was too much! I felt like God had actually given me more than I could handle!
After this, I went into a dark period for a while. I was mad! I was angry! I was frustrated! I stopped praying. The time in my life when I needed God the most, I just stopped talking to Him altogether. I told myself there was no use in fasting or praying because it didn’t work. I had been praying and believing for a baby for so long and it didn’t get me anywhere but heartbroken!
With my frustration, I started withdrawing from a lot of things. I still went to church and put on my happy face, but I stood in the back with my arms crossed and refused to sing and worship. I truly didn’t see the point.
Then one day, a friend of mine asked me to lunch. I had thought about pouring out my heart to her, but I still wasn’t sure I was ready to be so vulnerable or even just to not be so mad. Do you know that God still loves us in our darkest places? And that even if we think we’re done with Him (even temporarily), He’s not done with us? Lunch with my friend that day turned my world around!
I had put myself on an island thinking I was the only person going through this. My husband knew how I was feeling; he was even experiencing some of the same feelings himself. But my friend was a blessing in disguise! We met for lunch and talked until dinner…literally!! =) I felt so much better after talking to her. I just needed to share my feelings and let go of the negative so that God could refresh me and move me forward.
Later that year we decided to get a second opinion from a different fertility doctor. We were given the same answer, but this time, we decided to talk about our options. We took some time discussing our options and figuring out where the money would come from. Once we got everything worked out, we set the plan in motion for early 2017.
But our plans were halted again when we realized the fertility office misquoted the amount of money that was due. Being that fertility treatments are horribly expensive, we only had half of what we needed to pay for everything. So, as we worked to figure out the rest of the money issue, I had another medical setback.
There’s a song that Lauren Daigle sings called “Trust in You”. The very first line of the song is:
Letting go of every single dream, I lay each one down at your feet…
This is what I had to do. I had to lay down my dream of having a baby at God’s feet. I finally realized that I was holding on so tight to my dream, that I wasn’t allowing God to freely move in my life and do what He needed to do. The chorus of the song says:
When you don’t move the mountains, I’m needing you to move
When you don’t part the waters, I wish I could walk through
When you don’t give the answers, as I cry out to you
I will trust, I will trust, I will trust in you.
And that’s exactly what I had to do! I had to put aside the money issues, the medical issues, the “Kara-get-out-of-the-way-and-let-God-move” issues and I had to TRUST HIM.
It’s amazing what can happen when we move out of the way and let God do what God does best…the impossible…the miracle work.
Now we’re in late 2019 and we’re ready to go. We’ve visited with the fertility office; we have the correct amount of funds, and everything is put into place to begin late February 2020. I was very excited, but also very nervous. There was still a quiet voice in the back of my mind saying, “What if…” But I was also too excited about the possibility of what was coming to give it a second thought!
I had a positive pregnancy test on March 19, 2020. We went to have the first check-up at 7 weeks. We were both nervous due to our last experience with a 7-week pregnancy, but God is so GOOD!! We heard the baby’s heartbeat, and it was good and strong!
And we heard his strong little heartbeat at every appointment up until the day he was born. We welcomed our baby, James Hyden, Jr to our family on November 24, 2020. He was born at 4:01am and was 8lbs, 8oz and 22” long. He was born the day before his due date! Ironically, the first time in my household that a Hyden man has actually been early for anything!! Lol!
Our long-awaited promise was fulfilled! If you count the time from when we first got married, we waited 17 years for Baby James. I look in his precious face every single day and just feel God’s blessings pouring over me. He is my rainbow after the storm.
But the fulfillment of promises doesn’t always take 17 years. Maybe it takes more; maybe it takes less. But when God gives you a promise, He will deliver it when He says it’s time. God’s timing is different from ours, but the promise will not expire, and it will not return void! God keeps His word to us…every time!
Baby James at birthBaby James 10 months old
Thank you for reading my testimony! I hope it brings you encouragement to know that no matter how long you’ve been waiting, God’s miracles still happen every single day. Please come back next week for Part 2 as I share the second half of my breakout session for ways to keep your faith strong during the waiting process.
Mother’s Day was a few weeks ago. And for me, it was my very first Mother’s Day. It should’ve been my eighth, but it was my first.
You see, back in 2013, I would’ve celebrated my first mom-to-be Mother’s Day, but that dream was very short-lived. In March, we had reason to celebrate that it would be a great year. But by April, we were wiping away our own tears and not in a celebratory mood. Our baby at the time didn’t survive past seven weeks. Mother’s Day that year was just a mix of sadness, tears and broken hearts.
The next several years were mixed with waiting and trying and waiting and trying and waiting. Lots and lots of waiting and lots and lots of praying.
Then in early 2020, before the world shutdown, we found out we were pregnant! You’d think it would be hard to be pregnant in such an environment as 2020, but it really wasn’t. I got to be at home most of my pregnancy, resting and relaxing and getting ready for our sweet boy’s arrival. I know 2020 holds a lot of bad memories for people. But for us, 2020 was the year our dream came true; the year our prayers were answered; the year we brought home our son.
For Mother’s Day, my husband made sure it was extra special since it was the first one we got to celebrate. He sent me flowers and showered me with sentimental gifts, all of which I love and wear proudly. But for me, the best part about Mother’s Day was introducing my son to his great-grandmother for the first time, face-to-face. You see, my grandmother has been in a nursing home for the past few years. And with 2020, I had to tell her about my pregnancy through a glass door; we didn’t get to celebrate at all. So, seeing her this weekend in person for the first time in over a year and introducing her to her newest great grandbaby was the highlight of my whole day! It was a beautiful day, and I will hold all the memories close to my heart for many years to come. For the women still waiting for your little miracle, keep praying and believing! I know the words fall short, because they always did for me on this day every year but do it anyway. My heart breaks with yours because I’ve been there. But I believe that one day soon, you’ll see your prayers answered, too!
My 1st Mother’s Day with my son, James My grandmother meeting my son for the first time, face-to-face
The word “and” is generally used as a connector for other words and phrases or to mean that something is being added to something else already existing.
For example, you can say, “For your birthday, we’re having cake and ice cream.” You were already having the cake (existing) and then added ice cream. Or, when you think of the word “and” as a connector to other words or phrases, it’s something like this, “Today, we’re going shopping and we plan to shop at the mall, Hobby Lobby and Home Goods.”
I promise, I am going somewhere with this…this isn’t an English lesson! 🙂
But have you ever thought about how the word “and” is used in Scripture? Let me shed some light on what I mean by this. I was in a Bible study class the other night and we were talking about scriptures we like. Most people like verses that “speak” to them or to a certain situation they may be going through. But we also like to “cherry pick” the part we like the most, usually leaving out some of the meaning.
Take, for example, Jeremiah 29:11, “For I know the plans I have for you,” says the Lord, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.”
This is a very popular scripture. It’s often quoted on journal covers, Facebook pages, tattoos, shirts, jewelry…you get the picture. It’s used just about anywhere and everywhere. And it’s a great scripture; I like it just as much as anyone else. But when we focus on just this part and don’t look at what comes before or after it, we’re only getting part of the meaning.
Here’s the full passage, including the before and after:
“10This is what the Lord says: ‘When seventy years are completed for Babylon, I will come to you and fulfill my good promise to bring you back to this place. 11For I know the plans I have for you,’ declares the Lord, ‘plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future. 12Then you will call on me and come and pray to me, and I will listen to you. 13You will seek me and find me when you seek me with all of your heart. 14I will be found by you,’ declares the Lord, ‘and will bring you back from captivity. I will gather you from all the nations and places where I have banished you,’ declares the Lord, ‘and will bring you back to the place from which I carried you into exile.” (Jeremiah 29:10-14)
See, the Lord told His people that He had a great plan for them and that He was going to do wonderful things for them. But first, they had to endure the struggle. And that’s where we get caught up…we want the great and wonderful things, but we don’t want to endure the hardships that lead to the wonderful things. We want the great plan, the financial blessing, and the hope for a wonderful future. We don’t want the struggle, the hard times, or the bleak financial picture we’re facing. We want to take the bad stuff and sweep it under the rug, or hide under our covers until it’s finished. But that isn’t at all what God has planned for us.
What we have to remember are the promises God has given us that help us through the tough times to get to the great and wonderful plan. Here are some examples:
“Be strong and courageous. Do not be afraid or terrified because of them, for the Lord your God goes with you; he will never leave you nor forsake you.” (Deuteronomy 31:6)
“For no one is abandoned by the Lord forever.” (Lamentations 3:31)
“Be still and know that I am God; I will be exalted among the nations, I will be exalted in the earth.” (Psalm 46:10)
“When you go through deep waters, I will be with you. When you go through rivers of difficulty, you will not drown. When you walk through the fire of oppression, you will not be burned up; the flames will not consume you.” (Isaiah 43:2)
“But those who trust in the Lord will find new strength. They will soar high on wings like eagles. They will run and not grow weary. They will walk and not faint.” (Isaiah 40:31)
When we struggle, it doesn’t mean God has forgotten about us or doesn’t like us anymore. He puts us through trials to teach us, or to show us something we’re not seeing or learning on our own. When we go through the tough times, we have to remember there is another side to it; there is light at the end of our dark, treacherous and ongoing tunnel. We might not be able to see what’s coming ahead of us, but God does. But in order to fully grasp and enjoy the plan, we have to endure the hard stuff.
Let’s look at Jeremiah 29:10-14 once more.
Verse 10: This is what the Lord says: ‘When seventy years are completed for Babylon, I will come to you and fulfill my good promise to bring you back to this place.
Verse 11: For I know the plans I have for you,’ declares the Lord, ‘plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.
Verse 12: Then you will call on me and come and pray to me, and I will listen to you.
Verse 13: You will seek me and find me when you seek me with all of your heart.
Verse 14: I will be found by you,’ declares the Lord, ‘and will bring you back from captivity. I will gather you from all the nations and places where I have banished you,’ declares the Lord, ‘and will bring you back to the place from which I carried you into exile.
God is telling His people EXACTLY what He will do FOR them. When they do this, He will do that…in each line of that passage. God is FOR US. He is not against us…EVER!
Reading, learning and quoting Scripture is a good thing; just remember to read it all, to understand the full context of what God is telling us. God does know the plans He has for us and He will see each and every one of His promises fulfilled in our lives. Rest in that.
Over the past couple of days, I’ve come to the realization that I need to let some things…one thing…go.
There’s this dream I have. I’ve had it for a very long time…probably since I was a young girl. I’m still holding on to it and I do believe that one day it will happen. But I’ve come to realize that this dream has started to suffocate me. I’ve made this dream the very center of my being. I’ve let it become the one thing I think about day in and day out. The obsession I’ve cultivated for this dream has been causing me lots of mental anxiety and stress. And I just don’t know if I can continue like this without a complete breakdown!
But I’ve also noticed that I’ve pulled away from God because of this dream obsession. Don’t get me wrong, I still go to church and read the Word, but my heart just isn’t in it. A couple of weeks ago, I stood at the back of the worship service. I tried to sing, but I just couldn’t. One of the lines of the song they were singing said, “Your love never fails.” I started to sing it and then I stopped. And I thought, “I know Your love never fails, but I just don’t believe it right now. I don’t see You doing anything for me to prove that Your love never fails. You’re not moving where I need You to move. When I call out to You, there’s no answer. Do You hear me? Do You even see me, at all!?!” Very Christian of me, I know!!
So, I stood in the back, arms by my side, listening to the song and crying. And then I stepped out and left the service. I’ve been told I can be a very stubborn person…and right now, with God, I truly believe it!
But being this stubborn with God hasn’t gotten me anywhere! And the stubbornness is causing me the most stress because I just want to be angry with God. I want to be angry with Him because my dream hasn’t become a reality. The way I see it, people all around me are seeing their dreams fulfilled; people are receiving the dream I so desperately desire. And as I stand there and watch, I become angrier and more stubborn, because God isn’t answering MY dream!
But, I’m really not allowing Him to move or do anything for me either. My eyes are completely blinded to ANYTHING He might be trying to do.
So the other night in my bible study class, we were watching a video. I could really relate to this lady telling her story and the Lord allowed me to see a visual on this whole mess I’ve put myself into. It’s like a rope or an object and I have my hand on it and I’m holding on really tight. And by really tight, I mean white-knuckle-clenched-fist tight. And this is the conversation I had with God about my really tight grip:
God told me, “Let it go.”
And I said, “No! I can’t! If I let go, my dream will go away!”
And God said, “Trust Me, Kara.”
And I replied, “I can’t. If I don’t hold on, how do I know that it’ll happen? What if I never get it back?”
And God said, “I can’t move and do the things you want, until you ‘Let. Go.’”
And then I said, “I don’t know how. I’ve been holding on tight for so long, I don’t know how to ‘let go.’”
And then God said, “It’s going to be okay. You can trust Me. My Word says that I will give you the desires of your heart. But I have to be able to move to do that and you have to let go, so that I can.”
Have you ever had to let go of something? Of a dream? Of something you’ve wanted for so long and didn’t think it was ever going to come?
That’s where I am right now…today…trying to “let go.” And as I was getting ready this morning, I was thinking about that conversation with God and the visual He showed me. Then a song came to my mind. A song with words that speak right to the heart of my situation and a gentle reminder of what God asked of me the other night. The song is “Trust in You” by Lauren Daigle.
Letting go of every single dream
I lay each one down at your feet
Every moment of my wandering
Never changes what you see
I try to win this war I confess
My hands are weary, I need your rest
Mighty warrior, king of the fight
No matter what I face you’re by my side
When you don’t move the mountains
I’m needing you to move
When you don’t part the waters
I wish I could walk through
When you don’t give the answers
As I cry out to you
I will trust, I will trust, I will trust in you
Truth is you know what tomorrow brings
There’s not a day ahead you have not seen
So let all things be my life and breath
I want what you want Lord and nothing less
When you don’t move the mountains
I’m needing you to move
When you don’t part the waters
I wish I could walk through
When you don’t give the answers
As I cry out to you
I will trust, I will trust, I will trust in you
I will trust in you
You are my strength and comfort
You are my steady hand
You are my firm foundation
The rock on which I stand
Your ways are always higher
Your plans are always good
There’s not a place where I’ll go
You’ve not already been
When you don’t move the mountains
I’m needing you to move
When you don’t part the waters
I wish I could walk through
When you don’t give the answers
As I cry out to you
I will trust, I will trust, I will trust in you
I will trust in you
I will trust in you
I will trust in you
I’m visualizing loosening my grip and letting the color come back to my hand. I’m trying to remember what it means to trust God and how freeing it feels when I let Him move and do what only He can do. I’ve done it before; it just seemed easier before…or at least it feels that way now, that it was easier to trust Him in the past.
I need to let go. I will let go. And I will put my trust back in God. The only One that can make ALL my dreams come true!
Psalm 37:4 (NLT) “Take delight in the Lord, and he will give you your heart’s desires.”
Psalm 18:30 (NKJV) “As for God, His way is perfect; the word of the Lord is proven; He is a shield to all who trust in Him.”
Walking around these walls
I thought by now they’d fall
But You have never failed me yet
Waiting for change to come
Knowing the battle’s won
For You have never failed me yet
Your promise still stands
Great is Your faithfulness, faithfulness
I’m still in Your hands
This is my confidence, You’ve never failed me yet
I know the night won’t last
Your Word will come to pass
My heart will sing Your praise again
Jesus, You’re still enough
Keep me within Your love
My heart will sing Your praise again
Your promise still stands
Great is Your faithfulness, faithfulness
I’m still in Your hands
This is my confidence, You never failed
Your promise still stands
Great is Your faithfulness, faithfulness
I’m still in Your hands
This is my confidence, You never failed me yet
I’ve seen You move, come move the mountains
And I believe, I’ll see You do it again
You made a way, where there was no way
And I believe, I’ll see You do it again
I’ve seen You move, come move the mountains
And I believe, I’ll see You do it again
You made a way, where there was no way
And I believe, I’ll see You do it again
I’ve seen You move, come move the mountains
And I believe, I’ll see You do it again
You made a way, where there was no way
And I believe, I’ll see You do it again
I’ll see You do it again
Oh-oh
Your promise still stands
Great is Your faithfulness, faithfulness
I’m still in Your hands
This is my confidence, You never failed
Your promise still stands
Great is Your faithfulness, faithfulness
I’m still in Your hands
This is my confidence, You never failed me yet
And You never failed me yet
I never will forget
You never failed me yet
And I never will forget
We sang this song at our women’s worship night last week. The song is called, “Do It Again” by Elevation Worship. After last week didn’t go as I had planned and believed it would, this song really spoke to me. Although my plan is now delayed a little while longer, I’m still standing. The delay doesn’t mean God’s Promise is any less true or won’t happen, this last week just wasn’t His timing.
My husband and I recently watched the new Star Wars movie, Rogue One. In the movie there was a man that constantly repeated a phrase over and over. It didn’t matter if he was just sitting still or doing something, he always repeated the same phrase. (By the way, I’m not giving anything away on the movie, so if you haven’t seen it, it’s okay to continue reading!)
The phrase he repeated over and over was, “The Force is with me. I am one with the Force.” Whether you’re a Star Wars fan or not, you know that “the Force” is what the Jedi use to fight against the Dark Side. So by this man repeating this phrase over and over, he was basically building faith within himself that no matter what he encountered, the Force would be with him and would help him accomplish his plans.
As I was driving to work this morning, I thought of this phrase and realized how easily I could change the wording to become, “God is with me. I am one with God.” No matter where I am, what I’m doing or what I might be facing, reminding myself that God is with me and I am one with God is something I should be repeating all the time. It’s an assurance, a faith booster and a reminder that God is ALWAYS with us. He never leaves us or forsakes us. All we have to do is simply call on Him and He is there.
living by faith 