Tag: scripture

Approval Seeker

Okay, raise your hand if you constantly seek approval for the things you do?  Or, if you sometimes (fibber) seek approval for the things you do?

You can’t see me, but I’m not only raising my hand, I’m jumping up and down so you can see that my hand is raised high in the sky!!!  Sad, I know!

I’m really bad at this!  I try my best to be humble and most of the time I can succeed at being humble.  But when I do something really well or create something that’s really beautiful or write something that I think is profound, I really want someone to comment on it and tell me, “Good job” or “Way to go”.  Or like when I really clean the house.  Sorry about this…I love my house to be clean…I just don’t want to be the one that has to do the work! So, when I really clean it and it sparkles, I want my husband to (1) notice and (2) tell me how great it looks!  Really, is it too much to ask!?!?!!

So, here’s the basis for why I’m writing about this brutally honest subject.  A few weeks ago, our women’s ministry at my church launched a new website and within that website we started a blog.  As the editor and poster for all of our blog writers, I post about two blogs each week…giving each blog a chance to reach out and really soak in with our followers and to attract new followers.  We’ve had some great feedback and “likes” to the blogs that have been posted over the past few weeks.  Until this week.  I posted my first blog on our new site and for days (really only a couple, but it seemed longer), we didn’t receive any new followers, “likes” or comments.  I was pretty sure I scared off all of our current followers and any new potential followers.  I refer to it as my “in-your-face” blog because I wrote about offense and being offended.  Our women’s bible study is studying about offense this next semester, so I thought it’d be a great way to advertise for our group by writing a blog about it.  If I have peaked your curiosity at all, you can check it out here (http://cherishedministriesfcfc.com/2014/01/26/who-me-offended/).

I say all of that to say this…why does it matter so much to me what anyone thinks of what I wrote?  Do I really think that this one post is going to make people like me less?  Compared to other blogs I’ve read it’s not very controversial; yet, it’s a topic that makes people feel uncomfortable.  And because I know I don’t like to feel uncomfortable, I guess I was overly concerned about how the blog was received.

And just to prove what a great sense of humor God has…as I was writing this blog, I took a break and was looking on Facebook and ran across this post by Christine Caine:

approval seeker

Talk about snapping me back into attention!!  And that’s really the only thing I need to remember…it doesn’t matter what anyone thinks about me, says about me, likes or dislikes about me and my talents, gifts and abilities…the only One I need to concern myself with is my Heavenly Father.  He loves me unconditionally, all the time, every day, no matter what!!

“…For God has said, ‘I will never fail you.  I will never abandon you.’ So we can say with confidence, ‘The Lord is my helper, so I will have no fear. What can mere people do to me?’” ~Hebrews 13:5-6 (NLT)

Writer’s Block

Writer’s Block. It. Stinks. And I have it! Now I’m going to sit here and write a blog about writer’s block and how much it stinks! =)

I want to be posting regularly on my blog, but I just can’t come up with good stuff to write right now! I have a topic that I’ve been working on for about a week now. I’ve worked on it 3 different times and I just can’t convey in writing what I’m trying to say! That’s really weird for me. I’m really good at writing what I can’t verbally say…except this time! And it stinks! I just keep thinking the next time I open it up, the words will flow out of me and it’ll be the greatest and most encouraging blog I’ve written. I open the document…re-word a sentence or two and then…NOTHING! NADA! ZILCH! EMPTY THOUGHTS! It stinks!

I read a scripture the other day that really spoke to me. I thought, “This is great! I’ll blog about this!” So, I opened up a blank Word document, starting writing and BAM! Jumbled thoughts! Nothing I wanted to say was coming to mind to write about!

I guess it’s just the time of year. My mind is constantly going in a million different directions at any time of every day. Too. Much.

So, here I sit, writing a blog about having writer’s block and subjecting YOU to READ IT! Did I say this STINKS!?!!

To the many topics sitting in a Word document on my computer just waiting to be written, I hope to write you soon!

To my brain…CHILL OUT!!! I want to be doing something more productive with you so TAKE A BREAK!!! PLEASE!!!

To you, my loyal followers…sorry I subjected you to such a mindless topic! I hope to bring you a much more exciting topic…or at least something worthy of your time to read VERY SOON!

To my writer’s block, I say BE GONE!!!!!

=)

God’s Peace

There’s something to be said for truly and fully giving your grief over a loss to God.

Last week, we held our annual women’s retreat in Ruidoso, NM. One of the breakout sessions I attended was on the subject of releasing your grief to God over a loss suffered directly or indirectly due to death, sickness, accident, divorce, etc. The part of the class I was most interested was the symbolic balloon release that happened after the class. All the participants were given a balloon and the opportunity to “name their grief” on the balloon. After the balloons were ready, everyone went outside where the class leader said a few words, prayed and then allowed people to release their balloon “only when they were ready to let it all go.”

As many of you already know from earlier blogs, my husband and I lost a baby due to miscarriage earlier this year. Earlier this week, Oct. 30, was the original approximate date given for our baby to be born. I’ll be honest and tell you that I was not looking forward to this date AT ALL!! I compared it to how I felt on Mother’s Day this past year. I was really looking forward to Mother’s Day until I had the miscarriage. It was a pretty rough week leading up to the day, but I did survive it with the help of my husband, family and friends. For Oct. 30, I was expecting myself to be a blithering mess, not able to work for all the tears and sniffles and just not fun to be around for anyone.

But, that was not the case. The day came and went pretty uneventful. I told my husband that evening that I believed it had a lot to do with the balloon release the previous week. I said above that the balloon release was during our “women’s” retreat, but my husband is one of the few men in our church that attend to help us out with heaving lifting, hanging decorations and security during our weekend event. Since I knew he would be there and the loss was shared by both of us, I asked him to do the balloon release with me; something we could do together.

As with others there, we cried, we hugged and held on tight to each other. Letting go of the loss of a child we never met, never got to see, with the exception of the few weeks we saw the baby on the ultrasound monitor, but a baby we loved so much and were ready for the changes the little bundle of joy would bring to our family life was a freeing experience. We both held on to the balloon and when we were both ready to “let go”, we let the balloon named “baby boy Hyden” float into the air…up, up and away into the clouds.

I never expected that experience to be as freeing as it was. And it didn’t really feel “freeing” at the time. But as the retreat ended and I’ve gotten back into the normal busyness of life, this week has also come and gone. I thought of my baby often this week and especially on Wednesday, but never to the point of utter and uncontrollable sadness. I still cry and still get sad, but God has taken my grief and replaced it with His peace. The kind of peace only He provides.

“Then you will experience God’s peace, which exceeds anything you can understand. His peace will guard your hearts and minds as you live in Christ Jesus.” ~Philippians 4:7 (NLT)